Sunday, November 7, 2010

I'm a Crazy Person

In "real life" I am PAINFULLY shy.  I don't really like talking about myself because I don't think I'm very interesting and I don't really understand why people would care about my life (this was one of the reasons I had a "therapy session").  Because of this, I have a hard time making/keeping friends.  In college, I had some good girl friends that I lived with, but since I've married and moved away, we've drifted apart.  I mean, most of them live two or more hours away, and they aren't married (or infertile), so I feel like I'm in a different state of life than they they are.  I don't really call them because I secretly think, "Why?  They're not going to care anyway."  When I DO see them at weddings and things, I'm genuinely happy to see them, but the conversation is very superficial.  

Well, recently I've realized this extends to the blog world as well (yay, there's no end to my insecurity!).  I won't comment on more popular IF blogs because I'm afraid they're going to think, "Who in the heck is this person and why are they commenting?"  If I DO muster up the courage to comment, I try to keep it short and not talk about myself too much.  Ahh, I make it sound like I think these women are awful people, but really, it's the opposite!  I think I'M too boring or stupid to talk to these amazing women.  I promise I'm not trying to throw a pity party for myself, I just need to get this all out.  It helps to see all my crazy on paper...er...screen.


Well.  I'm going to go sit in my padded room now.

12 comments:

  1. I might need that padded room....I'm the complete opposite, I will talk all day long in the comment section about myself. Not because ppl care but because I feel the NEED to talk and talk and talk and talk...And I know I wear people out on the phone because if something is going on, I have to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk...

    Girl, just let it rip! ;) Well maybe you shouldn't take my advice, because I feel like I always put my foot in my mouth. :) hahaha

    I feel like I need a padded room too just to shut up. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh and believe it or not, I'm quiet in person....No lie! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear wife (maintaining the requisite, euphemistic cloak of anonymity required by the blog world, not using names),

    Just so you know, I married you for a reason. I find you to be terribly interesting, funny, witty, intelligent, insightful, and innocent, among other things. All who know you, all who meet you, all who encounter you (provided they haven't left the reservation long ago) share in my sentiments. When you let your true self shine through, not hiding behind this self-imposed veil of baseless insecurity, people find you delightfully refreshing and a veritable joy to be around. You DO have joy. You ARE good things. Chief among these is love. You love everyone, all the time, regardless. You love your husband more than he will ever deserve (though it's understandable - he's an incredibly charming and witty man).

    So, DW (Darkwing Duck, not "dear wife"), rest assured that you don't really want a padded room, as it would just be one more thing for you to clean, as I oppressively keep you barefoot in the kitchen (we'll get to the pregnant part some day). I love you. Everyone loves you. Just accept it - you'll be much happier that way.

    Love,
    Boomz

    ReplyDelete
  4. lol Sew, you crack me up! I'm the same way once I get to know somebody. My poor husband has to hear me yak and yak all the time! :) And I DO care about what you have to say in the combox-you're always hilarious or insightful! :)

    And "Boomz", I love you very, very much! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, you must immediately start commenting -- meaty, long comments -- on all the blogs! That's the fun part! And, we all worry that we might say something stupid (in fact, that's a given for me!).

    Your husband is so sweet!

    ReplyDelete
  6. By the way, does your husband have a younger brother for my daughter?? :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I second Leila and Sew - comment away wherever you want! Oh, and you have a sweet and funny husband! I hope you had a great weekend and I am glad I found your blog! God Bless, Marie B

    ReplyDelete
  8. :) Thank you everybody! I'll definitely try to comment more.

    Leila, my husband has TWO younger brothers! One is 22 (but a party animal) and the other is 15. lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Please comment more! I definitely find you funny and interesting. :) And your DH is sooo sweet!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. No judgments in the blog world, ok? We support one another. It's probably because of this that so many of us just let it all hang out there! I can't BELIEVE the things I've written on my blog. Things I would never say out loud! I mean, in the beginning, I was convinced my priest didn't like us because we didn't have children. I would never utter those words to people in real life, but I would say such ridiculous things on the blog...everyday. haha.

    We want to read what you have to write, so comment away and keep posting!

    ReplyDelete