Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.
Thanksgiving with my family was...interesting. lol
Every time I go "home", something feels "off". For a long time, I thought it was just because my family always expects my pre-conversion self to show up and, obviously, she doesn't, which causes tension. While that is definitely part of it, I figured out the deeper cause this weekend. To be blunt, they have no hope. They live entirely for material things. It's depressing as all get out. Another thing that depresses me is the way my parents interact. My mother is constantly telling my father that he's stupid or that he's an idiot, and my father doesn't know how to be a leader in his household and tries to avoid upsetting people no matter what the cost. So, yeah, Ephesians 5 isn't exactly being lived out there.
At the actual Thanksgiving meal at my grandmother's house, I was saying something like, "I just want a baby, a dog, or a cat" (In jest. Of course I don't think a baby is the same as a dog or a cat.), and the comments from my family made me SO angry. Because I'm still a baby IF blogger, I haven't heard many of the standard comments IF women get, but on Thanksgiving I got almost all of them. :) I heard, "Just relax, it'll happen!", "Just stop trying. It always happens when you least expect it." "Just get drunk," etc, etc. I just ignored them, and complained to my husband at the first opportunity. lol
I didn't have any run-ins with my liberal cousin, thank the Lord! There was, however, an incident with her 11 year old brother. K came over to spend the night with my brother, and when he got to our house, he gave my brother a skateboarding magazine. When he handed it to my brother, he said, "I especially like this page." "This page" had a close up picture of a woman's butt wearing only a thong. My husband informed my father, who hesitated to say something to my brother and cousin. My mom said she was going to say something, but eventually decided she was, "too tired" (this is a microcosm of how my family works.). After much nagging from me, my father finally told my cousin and father that the picture was "inappropriate" and tore out the picture. Sigh. I need to pray much harder for them than I do.
My sister is well on her way with wedding planning already. She has her date set for next November. Her colors are butter yellow and brown (which will look horrible on my pasty skin), and her bridesmaids dresses have very low cut necklines. I talked to Boomz about it, and he said something to my sister, and you'd have thought he killed the puppy! Seriously, everyone started yelling and they thought he was telling me what to wear. My mom was like, "You think I'm going to let people walk around with their breasts hanging out?!" (except she didn't say breasts), and I thought, "Yes. Yes, I do. You let me do it all through high school, you let L do it all the time, and YOU do it. So yes, I do think you'd let that happen." Ughhhh.
I'm sorry, I know this is a complaining post, and probably isn't charitable, but my family is one of my biggest crosses, and I need somewhere to vent about it. Although things with my family were tense, it made me incredibly thankful for the gift of faith and my husband. Praise be to God!
Happy Advent, everyone! :)
P.S. I just want to add that I love my family. lol I realize that from this post it doesn't sound like it, but I would do anything for them. They just cause a lot of stress, so I needed to vent a bit!