Thursday, February 24, 2011

I'm Alive!

I'm sorry I haven't written for so long!  I have a bit of blogger's block. :)  I want to write a post about my desire to be a Third Order Carmelite and another about body image and IF, but I'm not sure how to articulate everything yet.

There is absolutely nothing happening on the fertility front.  No period, no CM...nothing.  This is going to sound incredibly strange, but I miss AF. lol  At least there's hope to get pregnant the next month after CD1 comes.  With my reproductive organs doing absolutely nothing, there is zero hope of pregnancy.  I miss having that hope.  

I've been trying not to get discouraged, and I think I've been doing pretty well, but I'm failing today.  My friend T (who got pregnant without trying) is posting pictures of her baby bump on, I found out a few days ago that another friend got pregnant on her honeymoon back in December, and another friend posts about her pregnancy cravings constantly.  My brother-in-law's baby mama is ready to have her baby any day now.  I'm just having a hard time with it all.  I feel quite barren today.

I found out yesterday that my cousin may have a non-cancerous tumor on her pituitary gland which could be causing all of her womanly issues.  My old doctor told me that I may have a tumor on my pituitary gland as well, but my NaPro doctor ruled it out somehow.  I plan on asking her about it again at my appointment on the 8th.  I find myself almost hoping that IS what's wrong with me, because then something can be done to fix it.  If I'm in menopause at 22, there's nothing that can be done.  

Sigh.  I would really, really love to have a diagnosis.  


  1. Sorry the IF seems stalled. I really think you need to either get on your doctor about it, or find a new doctor.

    I've been considering the idea of becoming a Secular Carmelite (OCD, not OCarm) but not knowing where I'll be living in a couple of months makes any further consideration at the moment impractical.

  2. I second Katherine's comment about your doctor. I've learned from experience sometimes you just have to be pushy with your doctors. And if they don't respond, try to find someone who will.

    If I remember correctly, you're in NE Ohio and seeing Dr L, no? If you'd like, e-mai me and I'll give you the name of an amazing doctor. He's a bit of a drive, but worth it.

    Take care & God bless!

  3. How frustrating, I will pray for answers for you.

  4. Gosh...of course you need a diagnosis...I am praying that the right answers come to you soon. May you find something that rings clear to you and puts you on the path of finding a clear diagnosis.

  5. My goodness..cant they give you meds to bring your period on....I am praying for you! God Bless.

  6. Our RE just found a tumor on my husband's pituitary gland. Ask for an MRI!

    I'm praying for answers for you.

  7. I knew you'd like the Pope's St. John of the Cross letter! You'd like to be a 3rd order Carmelite? That's so exciting! My husband and I will pray for you tonight.

  8. Prayers for you.

    Hello and welcome to the Catholic Blog directory. I host a weekly gathering of Catholic bloggers and invite you to join us. This week's host post is at

  9. I will keep you in prayer. I found you through a Secular Carmelite search. I am a professed Secular and if you would like more info on discernment, I have some info on my OCDS vocation page. Wishing you blessings on your journey...wherever God leads you. I will be back to visit ; )