Saturday, May 28, 2011

Things on my mind :)

1) First, I have a few prayer requests (I feel bad that I'm always asking you for prayers...).  My 75 year old grandpa is having some health issues that are scaring all of us.  He's having stroke-like symptoms, but the doctors can't figure out what's wrong with him.  He follows my grandma around everywhere because he's so scared something else is going to happen.  :(  Please pray for him!

I've had a cold this week that is totally kicking my butt.  I had a fever all day on Wednesday that wouldn't go away no matter what I took, and my ears and throat hurt me so badly that I was in tears earlier (I'm such a wimp!).  My ears are really what's worrying me, because they've been bothering me for a year and a half now.  I've got fluid behind my eardrum in my left ear, and I've told my doctor a million times, but she just gives me some allergy medicine that's supposed to "dry me up", but it never, ever works.  I can't go to a different doctor for a few days yet due to insurance craziness, but it worries me how often and how much they hurt. :(  Could you please pray for healing for my ears?  Also, my family is visiting this weekend, so if you could pray that their visit goes well, I'd truly appreciate it!

2) I've been insanely emotional lately.  My husband and I were listening to random love songs last night, and I requested "Sh.e's Ev.erything" by Paisley, and then I cried (hard!) through the whole song!  Then, right before bed, I started crying again and I didn't even know why!  What is happening to me?! lol  I can't blame AF, because she's come and gone...hmmm....

3) For a while now Boomz and I have been feeling as if our lives are on hold.  Boomz is unhappy and restless with his job, and would really love to work for the Church somehow.  However, he doesn't have a degree in anything Church-y, and he would like to get his master's degree in theology, but we already have a massive amount of student loan debt.  He's also been thinking about opening a coffee shop with his friends in India.napolis, which makes me inwardly freak out every time I hear him talking on the phone about it.  I'm afraid I'm not being a very supportive wife about this dream of his (again, when I realize this, it makes me cry), because I think about how much more debt we would accrue, and how that would make adoption impossible for even longer than it is now.  Boomz could be happy in Indy (and he's not happy here), because he has friends there, but I would probably be miserable because 1) I am NOT a city girl.  I've lived in small towns my whole life, and I love them.  and 2) I would be far away from any family.  I'm already far away from my own family, but moving to Indy would move us away from my in-laws, whom I love dearly. 

I also have no idea what to do with my life.  I feel like I can't stay home (as much as I love it!) for forever, but I don't know what else to do.  I didn't finish my degree before we were married because I "just want to be a wife and mother", and despite all of my fertility issues pre-marriage, I still thought that I would get pregnant eventually.  I suppose I could finish my history degree, but, again, we'd be accruing more debt.  I'm not really "good" at anything, or passionate about anything except for the Church.  I love learning and talking about Her!  Sigh.  I just have to trust that God's will is good.  Now I just have to figure out what it is. lol 


  1. Move to Indy. We live here. My husband has a theology degree (doesn't use it...ha ha), but I think he and your DH would get along great. The weather is great. Our Church is AWESOME!!!! You would LOVE IT!!

  2. Just curious as to where you currently live. I'm in small town Indiana & our small family has considered moving to Indy for more opportunity, but I too am a country girl and couldn't stand to leave the place I've called "home" all my life!

  3. If your passion is with the Church, learning about and loving her, then find a way to channel that and use it, and go with that passion! :) Praying for you in your time of uncertainty, sister!

  4. Hugs (and Prayers!).

    Are there any MA Theology programs in your area that are on weekends? MY DH just finished his and we found that some (the one he did) are sometimes heavily subsidized by scholarships because there isn't a huge expectation of making money when the students are done. There were two scholarships with his program that were given to any student with a 3.5 or above. The other thing (if you could find both together) would be a weekend program, so he could still work, but take the MA classes on the weekend. Those two aspects are how we managed to do it.

    I can definitely relate on the small town issue. I'm a small town girl and don't really like the idea of moving anyplace bigger.

    And as Leila said, prayers you find a way to channel that passion! I love reading your blog! You have a way with words! Maybe you could combine those two things?

    Praying for you and your family!

  5. Prayers for you and your requests.

    I'm sure God will reveal His will for you and your husband in His time. Keep praying and trusting.