Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Random Thoughts at 3 AM

 I can't sleep, so I finally have time to BLOG! :)

1. Boomz and I bought Fr. Ro.bert Ba.rron's Catholicism series for each other for Christmas, and it is so amazing! Every episode is like a meditation, and it leaves me in awe of Our Lord and our Faith. So far, my favorite episodes are Amazed and Afraid: The Revelation of God Become Man and Our Tainted Nature's Solitary Boast: Mary, the Mother of God. I'm so, so grateful to be Catholic!

2. For the past few months I've been babysitting for our friend's grandson and keeping his (my friend's) elderly mother company, and let me tell you, it's been interesting. lol I love, love, love this little two-year-old boy, and he makes my infertile heart rejoice and ache at the same time. His family life isn't very stable, and I'm not sure he gets a lot of attention, so I try to give him my undivided attention as much as possible. I know I'm not his mother and I could never replace her, but I just want him to know that somebody loves him and doesn't think he's a bother (which is the impression I get from his family sometimes. I know they love him, but they seem annoyed with him most of the time).

3. I think I've been feeling the calling to adopt lately. I've always wanted to adopt, but wasn't sure I was called to it (and I'm still not, to be honest!). A few weeks ago out of the blue I was struck by the feeling that my baby is out there waiting for me somewhere, and I even had an image of a little biracial baby in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about this moment for a couple days. Then, while Boomz, my mother-in-law, and I were watching Catholicism, they showed an orphanage in Africa and all of the children were singing, "We are so happy to see you!", and I wanted to mother every single one of them. I've had several moments like this in the last couple of months. Am I a crazy person? lol

4. The elderly lady I keep company cracks me up and makes me sad all at the same time. She has absolutely no inhibition, and tells me all sorts of (unwanted!) intimate details about her past love life with her late husband and her bodily functions. She loves to watch judge shows like Divor.ce Cou.rt, and one time when a same-se.x couple was on, she asked me what they do with each other! lol I was mortified! Things like this happen everyday! She feels like a burden to her son and his family, and still cries over her husband's death, so she just breaks my heart. Sometimes she just sits in her recliner and sings old hymns, and once she prayed spontaneously in front of me because she was so grateful that she wasn't in so much pain that day. She's a Southern Bap.tist, and I just wish I could tell her about redemptive suffering, but I'm not sure she'd understand.

5. This Friday is when Boomz' family is celebrating Christmas, and oh boy, I think we're in for a good time. lol Boomz often posts things on FB to get people to think or to start a discussion, and one quote from St. Augustine finally got his uncle who's a Southern Bap.tist pastor to say he'd love to discuss this over Christmas dinner. I think we're in for a good time.  Hopefully everybody will keep their tempers and I'll keep my mouth shut! lol


  1. I don't think you are crazy at all! I have felt similar thoughts sometimes. I think that our children are destined to be our children, however, they enter the world. I think you are just feeling the pull towards your child. :)

  2. I LOVE Fr. Barron's Catholicism series...I got it as a birthday present and enjoy watching them. They are so meditative and thought-provoking!
    Merry Christmas!

  3. I'm excited that you're thinking about adoption. It is a little scary, but as you know, you love that little boy, so it will be easy to love a child that's not your own. I'll be praying as you discern if this is something to pursue or not.
    Wishing you a fun, temper-free family Christmas! Merry Christmas!