Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Update on My Crazy Life-with advice needed!

I'm such a horrible blogger!  I promise I'm going to get back to regular blogging soon.

First off, my family (including my aunt and cousin) are going to be visiting for a few days, so if you could please pray for me, I'd really appreciate it!  My family is very loving, but they haven't really understood me or my lifestyle since my reversion.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday with my NaPro doctor to decide whether or not I'm going to take T3.  We decided that I'm not going to take it, because my temps aren't THAT low, and my main concern is with my hair falling out, and T3 doesn't help with that. She also thinks T3 could make me even more "nervous" (her words) than I already am (I didn't realize I was nervous, but apparently I am), and it doesn't always help with fatigue. My doctor said that she thinks my hair is thinning because that's what happens when women go through "the change", but she referred me to an endocrinologist for a more specialized opinion.  I'm also going to get an ultrasound of my thyroid, eventually. 

Basically, she said I'll never be able to have children.  I'm giving up charting-at least for now! She told us to look into adoption and told us stories about family members who adopted. When I was younger, I thought I'd like to adopt someday, so this isn't a new thought for me.  However, Boomz confided in me that he doesn't know if he could ever think of an adopted child as his own.  Do any of you ladies who have adopted have any thoughts on this?  Have any of your husbands thought this way?

CD1 is coming any time now!  My mood swings have been insane, which I'm sure will be fun when I see all my pregnant friends at a wedding this weekend!  Poor Boomz! lol  Please, please pray that I keep a cool head!  I'm sure I'll get lots of comments like, "Oh, it'll be your turn any time now!", and I'm not quite sure what to say.  I think I just want to "put it out there", and tell them I can't have children, so people don't say things like that to me anymore, but I'm not sure if that's rude or not, because I know they have good intentions  What do you think?


  1. Oh sweetie! Praying for you!!!

    I would want to tell people, too. It's totally your choice what you want to do though - don't feel bad if you want to tell them, it's not rude!

  2. I'm sorry and I'm praying for you seems we have similar family issues...

    In regards to telling people, I think given your circumstance it might be best to tell people if you don't mind them knowing. I have realized that that is everyone's initial reaction to infertility ("Oh, just relax and it will happen soon!" or "You're next!") because they don't want to be Debbie Downers and they're just trying to have hope, but if your doctor has told you otherwise, maybe it would be good to say that so that you can be spared those comments. Especially if they mean the best, they shouldn't care.

    After our surgery my SIL was going on and on about how excited she was about being an aunt soon and while I listened to her go on and on about so many other things related to my fertility (including my fav: "mind over matter!") I had to stop her from talking about our future children and being an aunt. She seemed stunned but I am SO happy I spoke up. I'm sure it won't be easy and some people may not believe/understand you, but at least you might have the opportunity to have your friends/family support you in the way you need to be supported.

  3. I will be praying for you!

    If it were me I think I would tell people. It's just so much easier to have thugs out in the open. I don't think it's rude at all. :)

    I have a few friends who have adopted and their husbands had the same initial reaction to the idea. I think that it's harder for men. They don't always have the same mothering/nurturing instinct that women do. But now that they have adopted children they love them just as much as they would bio children. One of them has bio children as well and looks at the adopted child no different. Maybe ask him about beginning the process. It's a long process, maybe as it moves along he will warm up to the idea.

  4. Ryan was the same way. He just wasn't sure about adoption, but we really thought we'd never conceive, so he took it to prayer, knowing that I was serious about it. Slowly his heart opened up to it, and we learned more about it. Then when we went to our agency's workshop, he really surprised me because he thought everything they were saying about adoption (specifically open adoption, which is what we were looking at) made a lot of sense to him. He still had little struggles along the way, but it was nothing that some prayer didn't take care of. He really surprised me again when we finally got the call for a placement and he got tears in his eyes hearing about the baby girl that we were to adopt.

    So, I'd just keep talking to Boomz, praying for him and asking him to pray about it. If it's something you're called to, God will work on it and he'll come around. :)

  5. I agree with the ladies..I would just tell them, so people can start being more supportive and less "just relax". I am sorry your Md said that to you. Really? I am praying for you!

    St. Rita please intercede!

  6. As far as telling people...I didn't really tell people right away. But, by 7 or 8 years into our marriage, I got sick of people giving me advice and just told them "We can't get pregnant so save your wishes and prayers for someone else"...yeah, I am pretty negative, but I was also so angry that was all I could say.

    As far as adoption...we always wanted to adopt, but didn't have the money! Our daughter was "totally ours" the moment we met her!! You honestly don't even think that they baby did not come from you...that is how intense the LOVE is for your child!!!

  7. I just read a book about a family who adopted (and the author was sure she would end up a "wicked evil step-mother") called "Choosing To See" by Mary Beth Chapman.
    The family also has set up a website to help others in their adoption process:

  8. So much on your plate. I'm totally praying for you. Pray for your husband and trust in God. Maybe God will send him a great friend who is also an adoptive Catholic father. Maybe his heart will change on his own. If God has an adoptive baby in mind for you, trust that His plans include your dear husband becoming an AWESOME Dad.

    I have absolutely no experience on the adoptive front and I don't want to mitigate your dear husband's fears in anyway. I did want to just add some food for thought on the "bonding thing."

    I have trouble bonding instantly with my own biological kids. I love them in my tummy and then when they come out it, the baby feels a little foreign and "UFOish" for a few days. I have never had a "Baby Story" experience in my own c-section deliveries.

    Instead, I sort of feel like I'm going to drop my baby the first time I hold her because she feels so fragile and things just feel a little "odd" for our first few days. That really happened a lot more with my youngest, who at day 4 took a dramatic U turn in her health and ended up spending 3 weeks hooked up to all kinds of weird machines in the NICU.

    For me, the bonding with a newborn happens slowly over the first few weeks. Our end process, however, is super loving and intense. I don't love them because they've got eyebrows like Grandpa or eyes the same color as their Daddy (my cute babies are all born totally bald with the same color of blue eyes before they change). I only get to see their physical resemblance to my beloved husband much, much later. But I start falling in love with my newborn babies because of their unique characteristics and funny facile expressions and the special ways they have to get lulled into sleep.

    So in being a "biological" Mom, I actually have great confidence in adoption--something my husband and I hope to do someday. I know that it's the hidden love of Christ and not simply shared biological genes that bond me to a baby.

    I still hope that God will grant you a miraculous pregnancy. No matter what, we know that our Father loves us. He's got a very special plan for you and your dear husband. You stay strong in Faith and I will standing in Hope next to you!

  9. I will keep you in my prayers. I truly pray that this isn't the end of the road for you for either birth or adoption and you will be shown the next step very soon.