Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Challenges

Oy. I'm such a horrible blogger. I'm so sorry it's been forever since I posted. We've had so many things going on it's just ridiculous (or maybe it just seems like I'm busy because I'm constantly watching my dog! lol).

Since the last time I posted my grandmother passed away. She was holding an old, beautiful gold rosary in her hands in the casket, which my grandpa gave to me.  It's just so hard to believe she's gone. The wake and funeral feel like a dream. Please pray for her soul and for my poor grandpa. He's totally lost without Grandma. He has no idea how to cook or clean or pay the bills.  The funeral is bringing out the best and worst in my extended family. My parents are being so patient and devoted to caring for my grandpa, but some of my family members are being HORRIBLE. One in particular has a grudge against my grandma and just won't/can't let it go even though she's gone. She thinks that grandma treated her differently because she's Protestant and that her kids were never treated the same, which is completely false. SHE separated her family from the rest of us by not coming to Thanksgivings or Christmases. Not TWO HOURS after my grandma died, she was already criticizing her. UGH. I get so angry when I think about it! Oh, I could just go on and on, but I suspect I've already crossed the boundaries of charity. :) Please pray for healing in our family, as well!

I'm having a difficult time adjusting to our new city. I don't feel safe and I'm homesick for our old town. The stupid grocery store is forever away and it's such an ordeal to get anywhere. I miss our former parish. We haven't really figured out where we're going to go to Mass on a regular basis since there are so many around here! Boomz wants to go to the TLM about 20 minutes away, but if everybody that loves liturgy flocks to the TLM how is the lackluster liturgy ever going to change? Plus, we have potential friends at the parish we've been attending! We've actually hung out with people our age once AND I was invited to tea once! I didn't want to go because the woman that invited me is a new mother and I knew it'd be all baby talk all the time, but Boomz guilted me into going. :) It wasn't so bad, really, and it was probably good for me to get out of the house. 

My adorable little puppy is driving Boomz and I crazy. :) He whines and whines while in his crate, and last night he peed all over me and my couch. I'm taking him outside every hour and ringing a bell and everything but I don't think he's getting it. He's so snuggly and good (for the most part) for me all day, but once the sun goes down he's totally hyper and horrible. TCIE and Hebrews have had some great advice for me, but more suggestions are welcome! Boomz is about ready to throw in the towel.

Sorry for such a rambly post! I just wanted to get all of this off my chest while the puppy is sleeping. :)

10 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry about the situation with your grandma. Some people have such a hard time focusing in on what is really important.

    My advice about Mass is to go to the Mass that you believe brings you closest to God.

    As far as the puppy, put his face to his mess (so he knows why he is being scolded), tell him firmly, "No! Bad dog!" and get a good rolled-up newspaper and whack his backside. It doesn't hurt them but the sound scares them. Then get him outside. Repeat. He'll get it.

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  2. Don't throw in the towel! I promise it gets easier. I was really frustrated with Maddie in the beginning too, and she was almost four months when I got her from my parents. I would say around five or six months she just kinda "got it" when it came to potty training. It did look bleak for awhile though. :) It's harder I think when they are small and their bladders are so tiny. And the more reliable he becomes with potty training, the easier it will be to allow him out of his kennel. We only ever kennel Maddie now when we go somewhere. I promise, it gets easier, and then you will love that sweet cavalier disposition!

    Also, I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma, I will pray. That is a hard thing for a family to go through, no matter what the circumstances. And I remember feeling the same way when we moved too, I was VERY homesick for Omaha, and taking care of unruly puppies really made me miserable for awhile. I promise it will pass. *Hug*

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  3. If he pees on you, I'm not sure he respects you. So I would suggest getting very firm with him....If he does something that you do not want him to do..>Grab him by the scruff of his neck, or the side of his neck and put him to the floor. That is how his mother would discipline him. He needs to know that you are the mother and you mean business. If you happen to lock eyes with him do not move your gaze. If you move your gaze first he won......

    I had to do that with waffle, I had to assert my power over him. It won't last long but him peeing on you and on the couch is no monkey business.....He is a dog and needs to be put in his place. Once he knows his place then you can cuddle and have him as a pet. But setting boundaries is important.

    I think I learned that from the dog whisper. with that being said I wanted to mull waffle for the first year of his life. ;) LOL And I still sometimes want to beat his A$$....But once I remind him who the momma is, we seem to do just fine. :) I promise, I don't beat him! LOL I'm just assertive. :)

    So sorry about the loss of your grandma!!

    P.S. Id kill in my husband wanted to go to the TLM..... ;)

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  4. Hang in there... sounds like everything is hitting you at once. Hope you feel more 'at home' in your new place soon.

    As far as the puppy goes... they are hard, hard work... but so worth it. :)

    He does need to know who is top dog - you and your husband!! Sew is totally right about correcting him by using the scruff of his neck. They suggested this at our puppy class we took our pup to. They are use to that b/c their mom's did that and it does not hurt them. We would put Daisy in the submissive position when she was acting up. Heck, we still do occasionally. It let her know, without hurting her, who is in charge. This is huge with the Dog Whisperer! He does this with every single dog!

    Our trainer had a strict no couch rule too when they are that little. HE told us to cuddle them on the floor all we wanted, but keep them out of the bed and off the couch until they get that Top Dog concept. But when they were on the couch... if they were standing or physically above you... it can make them thing they are top dog! We kept Daisy off for a while when she was young... but now I do LOVE snuggling with her on the couch.

    The crate -- Crate training is a huge part of potty training. We only crate Daisy at night and she LOVES her crate now. But when she was tiny, she was fine in it... but it took her a bit to calm down. The Dog Whisperer always says to not shut the door of the crate until they are calm. We would sit with Daisy, put her in the submissive position in her crate and then she would settle down and we'd shut the door. It was a long process. We finally figured out that if we gave her a treat when she went in the crate - she had no problems being in there at all. Heck, she would run to it and go in it once we started doing a small treat. We had her go in, sit, then we'd close the door. She got another treat when she laid down. Worked like magic. It's pretty much the only trick she can do now! We say, "Night night time" and she does a mad dash for the crate. She really likes those stinky treats.

    Potty training... you are doing it all right, it just takes time... and lots of trial and error... and carpet cleaner. Puppies can hold their bladder about one hour for every month old they are. It might be a little different for smaller breeds too.

    Positive reinforcement is the key. It is a myth that punishing a dog for a potty accident will work. Unless you catch them in the act they have NO IDEA why you are punishing them or rubbing their nose in pee. It doesn't work and every current dog expert will tell you that. Scaring them is not a good tactic. If they pee in front of you... grab him and get them outside right then. That they will learn. Even a few minutes later is too late for a correction. I think it helped Daisy that she was on a pretty strict eating/water schedule too.

    Here's a good website/article: http://www.cesarsway.com/channel/dog-care/housebreaking... and here is another one... http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/dogs/tips/housetraining_puppies.html

    Hope that helps! It can be SO frustrating. Daisy is almost one and we love her to pieces. But at times, she is crazy and can make us nuts!!! But don't give up. Sixty percent of dog owners give up on their dogs within their first year and that is so sad.

    Big hugs coming your way. :)

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  5. I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandma. You're right about deaths bringing out the best and the worst in people. How unfortunate that one relative just couldn't leave things alone!

    I have no dog advice, but you've got three experts above that know what they're talking about! Good luck with your doggie!

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  6. I'm no dog expert either, but you're in great hands! :-)
    I'm so, so sorry about the loss of your grandma and for the family drama that has resulted. It must make the grieving process so much harder. I'm praying for you and your grandma's soul. Hang in there ... you've always got us! :-)

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  7. So sorry about your grandma. Prayers to you and your family for healing.
    I'm glad you went out there and met some new people! It's really hard moving to a new place. You'll find the right parish and friends will follow. Don't give up :)
    Jenny is right to check out cesar's website. HE's amazing!! Good luck with the puppy :)

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  8. where are yooou? I miss your posts! Sorry I didn't comment on this - SO sorry about your gma :(

    hope you're enjoying your new home more now. I know it can be hard

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  9. I'm sorry for the loss of your grandma. I will say a prayer for her, you, and your family.

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  10. Checking in… are you still there? We miss you!

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