Thursday, December 9, 2010
Sigh-pt. II
I just read on Face.book ANOTHER friend is pregnant. Okay, she's more of an acquaintance than a friend, but still. And she's somewhere between 5-6 months pregnant, which means she got pregnant RIGHT AFTER she got married. Both of these women got married after me. When I got married, people were like, "By the time so and so's married, you'll probably be announcing you're pregnancy!" Yeah, right. I knew I would have trouble having children for years. I feel like such a brat getting upset about my friends getting pregnant, but it's an instant reaction. Sigh. I have to get over myself.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Sigh.
I just found out my friend T is pregnant. I'm happy for her, and she's going to be a wonderful mother, but it still hurts. As soon as I saw it on Face.book, I texted her to congratulate her, and she said, "Oh no!!! J, I was supposed to call and tell you in person!" She knows that Boomz and I are "having trouble conceiving", so I appreciate the fact that she was being sensitive, but I'm pretty sure they weren't even TTC! When they got married, she told me they were waiting 6-9 months to start trying, and it's only been 5. I don't understand. How do women just get pregnant without bajillions of pills, blood tests, charting, and doctors? Why is it so easy for most women but may be impossible for me? I'm trying not to think "It's not fair," but I'm thinking it anyway. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
On a different note, I have a question for the ladies with PCOS. My friend M thinks she may have it, and she seemed to think that it's not "fixable". I asked if she could get a wedge resection, and she said that she could, but it only works for 8-10 months. Is that true? I've never heard that before. Are there other options for her? Thank you all so much!
On a different note, I have a question for the ladies with PCOS. My friend M thinks she may have it, and she seemed to think that it's not "fixable". I asked if she could get a wedge resection, and she said that she could, but it only works for 8-10 months. Is that true? I've never heard that before. Are there other options for her? Thank you all so much!
Immaculate Conception
Happy Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, and congratulations Sew! :) What a wonderful day!
This is one of my favorite days of the whole liturgical year. The Immaculate Conception has been one of my favorite titles of Our Lady long before I ever knew what it meant. In 8th grade, my CCD teacher taught us about the saints (this was the first year we'd ever been taught about them), and she told us about the "Incorrupt.ibles". St. Bernadette particularly fascinated me, so I asked my teacher if she could tell me more about her. She gave me a biography of St. Bernadette, which I devoured, although I was so ignorant of the Faith that I really didn't understand much of it. I remember getting chills when I read that Our Lady said to St. Bernadette, "I am the Immaculate Conception," although, again, I had no idea what that meant. I remember having a discussion with a friend before my AP History class my junior year, wondering how Jesus could have been born on Dec. 25th if He was conceived on Dec. 8th! lol I think it might have been my freshman year of college when I finally understood what this doctrine actually means.
Our Lady means more to me than I could ever express, and I know she was fundamental in my reversion. Thank you, Mama, for praying for me. I love you so much!
"And a great sign appeared in heaven, a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars..." Revelation 12:1
Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
P.S. Don't you just love that image of Our Lady and Jesus? I love how He's all snuggled up to her!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Jesus Wept
My brilliant, wonderful husband emailed me this morning with the thoughts he had on his commute, and I just had to post them! I'm so blessed to have such an amazing husband!
Here's the email:
The shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35, "Jesus wept." This is, to my knowledge, the only time in the Bible that Jesus weeping is mentioned. Even in the garden, during his agony, it says he was greatly troubled or distressed, even to the point that his sweat was as blood; but, never again in the Bible does it mention Jesus weeping. Yet, what profound insight, mystery, and wonder is contained within this shortest of verses, these two small words!
If we are to properly understand this verse, we have to ask certain questions about it: Why does Jesus weep? What does it mean that Jesus weeps? What happens to cause Jesus to weep? What happens after? Jesus weeps right after he learns of the death of his friend Lazarus, the brother of Martha and Mary. We know that he then goes to the tomb of Lazarus and calls him forth, raising his friend from the dead. We must naturally assume that Jesus knew he was going to do this, even upon learning of the death of this beloved man. Why, then, did he weep?
Jesus weeping gives us insight into his Sacred Heart. He is close to us in our humanity. He is close to us in our grief. He's close to us in our loss. He's close to us in our pain. He's close to us (though He doesn't share in it) in our despair. Jesus knew that these two sisters were grieving and hurting at the loss of their brother. He, in his humanity, knew their friends and, possibly, other family were grieving at the death of Lazarus. Tradition says that, by this point, it is likely that St. Joseph had died, so Jesus, too, knew the bitterness and loss that comes with the death of a loved one. What's more, Jesus knew that death was an aberration. Jesus knew that "in the beginning it was not so" and that death is a result of sin in the world. Jesus knew that what God had created as perfection, as a paradise for His beloved children has been twisted and convoluted and corrupted such that death entered the world and these frail, wounded people had to suffer this loss. Jesus wept because he felt grief and pain and loss, in deeper and more profoundly acute ways than we ever could on this earth.
Consider what it means to "weep." People typically weep (at least in my mind) when they feel the deepest, most profound pain and are too distraught to sob. Personally, if I weep, it's because I'm feeling, deep within the core of my being, this heart-wrenching pain that makes me feel so helpless or lost that sobbing is almost a profane action. Tears streaming down his face, Jesus could still probably speak some, or could probably hold these women close to himself and comfort them in their grief. Jesus felt such compassion and empathy and grief that tears just flowed freely.
These two words, this shortest verse gives us such a keen insight into the authentically genuine humanity of Jesus Christ. It shows us that God truly became man for us. This Man, descended from heaven, born of a Virgin, grown in wisdom and stature, lost and found in the Temple, feels what we feel. He weeps with us and for us. What's more, while it gives us this insight into the authentic humanity of Christ, it also simultaneously shows us His divinity. He has the eternal perspective which affords him the capacity to weep for the whole of humanity; for the existence of death. Yes, Jesus became man and weeps with us, but he came from the Father and will return to him and thus he weeps for us, too.
Here's the email:
The shortest verse in the Bible is John 11:35, "Jesus wept." This is, to my knowledge, the only time in the Bible that Jesus weeping is mentioned. Even in the garden, during his agony, it says he was greatly troubled or distressed, even to the point that his sweat was as blood; but, never again in the Bible does it mention Jesus weeping. Yet, what profound insight, mystery, and wonder is contained within this shortest of verses, these two small words!
If we are to properly understand this verse, we have to ask certain questions about it: Why does Jesus weep? What does it mean that Jesus weeps? What happens to cause Jesus to weep? What happens after? Jesus weeps right after he learns of the death of his friend Lazarus, the brother of Martha and Mary. We know that he then goes to the tomb of Lazarus and calls him forth, raising his friend from the dead. We must naturally assume that Jesus knew he was going to do this, even upon learning of the death of this beloved man. Why, then, did he weep?
Jesus weeping gives us insight into his Sacred Heart. He is close to us in our humanity. He is close to us in our grief. He's close to us in our loss. He's close to us in our pain. He's close to us (though He doesn't share in it) in our despair. Jesus knew that these two sisters were grieving and hurting at the loss of their brother. He, in his humanity, knew their friends and, possibly, other family were grieving at the death of Lazarus. Tradition says that, by this point, it is likely that St. Joseph had died, so Jesus, too, knew the bitterness and loss that comes with the death of a loved one. What's more, Jesus knew that death was an aberration. Jesus knew that "in the beginning it was not so" and that death is a result of sin in the world. Jesus knew that what God had created as perfection, as a paradise for His beloved children has been twisted and convoluted and corrupted such that death entered the world and these frail, wounded people had to suffer this loss. Jesus wept because he felt grief and pain and loss, in deeper and more profoundly acute ways than we ever could on this earth.
Consider what it means to "weep." People typically weep (at least in my mind) when they feel the deepest, most profound pain and are too distraught to sob. Personally, if I weep, it's because I'm feeling, deep within the core of my being, this heart-wrenching pain that makes me feel so helpless or lost that sobbing is almost a profane action. Tears streaming down his face, Jesus could still probably speak some, or could probably hold these women close to himself and comfort them in their grief. Jesus felt such compassion and empathy and grief that tears just flowed freely.
These two words, this shortest verse gives us such a keen insight into the authentically genuine humanity of Jesus Christ. It shows us that God truly became man for us. This Man, descended from heaven, born of a Virgin, grown in wisdom and stature, lost and found in the Temple, feels what we feel. He weeps with us and for us. What's more, while it gives us this insight into the authentic humanity of Christ, it also simultaneously shows us His divinity. He has the eternal perspective which affords him the capacity to weep for the whole of humanity; for the existence of death. Yes, Jesus became man and weeps with us, but he came from the Father and will return to him and thus he weeps for us, too.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
I Survived!
I survived my friends' wedding! There were about a million babies/toddlers there, but I survived! Thank you all so much for praying for me (especially you, prayer buddy!).
I spent most of the evening chatting with college friends, drinking 7 and 7s, and avoiding babies. lol Most of it was stupid small talk, and wedding planning talk (virtually NO when-are-you-going-to-start-trying talk!), but I had the chance to have a wonderful conversation with three of my friends about NFP! One of them, M, is engaged and learning Creighton. She thinks she has PCOS, which makes me sad, but I'm also happy I may have somebody (in "real" life) to talk to about IF-related things. Does that make me a bad person? The other two, thank the Lord, are blessedly fertile, and I made SURE they knew how lucky they are. When I told them how blessed they are, one of them said to M and I, "Well, at least you don't have to deal with cramps and nausea every month." This statement was frustrating for two reasons: 1) I DO have to deal with cramps and nausea every month. I have periods, but I may not actually be ovulating. 2) HAVING TO DEAL WITH CRAMPS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO INFERTILITY! I didn't say anything because I hate conflict, but really? I mean, really? Anyway, that was the only frustrating comment of the night, and the rest of the conversation really was wonderful, so I call it a success! :)
When I came home (to my parents' house, I should say, since we were staying there for the weekend) that night, I found out that my sister bought her wedding dress. My family went to a store just to look at some dresses, but my sister found one that she absolutely loved, so she bought it right then and there. I thought it was a little rash, and my feelings were hurt since I didn't get to see my only sister try on wedding dresses, but she's happy so I'm trying to get over myself. The silver sash around the waist of the dress made her change her colors to black and silver, which means no more butter yellow! Good news for this pasty girl! lol
The next day we attended Mass with a friend and had "brunch" with a few more friends who were in town for the wedding. I put brunch in quotations, because it was really more of a feast! Our hostesses made bacon, blueberry pancakes, regular pancakes, sausage, various fruits (okay, they didn't MAKE the fruit, but you know what I mean! lol), donuts, pumpkin muffins, and some crazy quiche. :) It was amazing! We had some great conversation about rebellion, baptism, and liturgy. The only thing that put a damper on the meal was the fact that there was a baby. My friends have a 7 week old baby, whom I could not avoid. However, she is a very cute baby, and she was often very close to me, so sometimes I would just stare at her like a creep. IF sucks. :)
I hope you ladies had a wonderful weekend! :)
I spent most of the evening chatting with college friends, drinking 7 and 7s, and avoiding babies. lol Most of it was stupid small talk, and wedding planning talk (virtually NO when-are-you-going-to-start-trying talk!), but I had the chance to have a wonderful conversation with three of my friends about NFP! One of them, M, is engaged and learning Creighton. She thinks she has PCOS, which makes me sad, but I'm also happy I may have somebody (in "real" life) to talk to about IF-related things. Does that make me a bad person? The other two, thank the Lord, are blessedly fertile, and I made SURE they knew how lucky they are. When I told them how blessed they are, one of them said to M and I, "Well, at least you don't have to deal with cramps and nausea every month." This statement was frustrating for two reasons: 1) I DO have to deal with cramps and nausea every month. I have periods, but I may not actually be ovulating. 2) HAVING TO DEAL WITH CRAMPS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO INFERTILITY! I didn't say anything because I hate conflict, but really? I mean, really? Anyway, that was the only frustrating comment of the night, and the rest of the conversation really was wonderful, so I call it a success! :)
When I came home (to my parents' house, I should say, since we were staying there for the weekend) that night, I found out that my sister bought her wedding dress. My family went to a store just to look at some dresses, but my sister found one that she absolutely loved, so she bought it right then and there. I thought it was a little rash, and my feelings were hurt since I didn't get to see my only sister try on wedding dresses, but she's happy so I'm trying to get over myself. The silver sash around the waist of the dress made her change her colors to black and silver, which means no more butter yellow! Good news for this pasty girl! lol
The next day we attended Mass with a friend and had "brunch" with a few more friends who were in town for the wedding. I put brunch in quotations, because it was really more of a feast! Our hostesses made bacon, blueberry pancakes, regular pancakes, sausage, various fruits (okay, they didn't MAKE the fruit, but you know what I mean! lol), donuts, pumpkin muffins, and some crazy quiche. :) It was amazing! We had some great conversation about rebellion, baptism, and liturgy. The only thing that put a damper on the meal was the fact that there was a baby. My friends have a 7 week old baby, whom I could not avoid. However, she is a very cute baby, and she was often very close to me, so sometimes I would just stare at her like a creep. IF sucks. :)
I hope you ladies had a wonderful weekend! :)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Wedding this Weekend
My friends D and J are getting married this weekend. This may make me an awful person, but I'm totally dreading it. There are going to be at least three friends there with new babies, and because almost ALL of my friends got married this spring/summer, there is bound to be "baby talk". You know, lots of people asking when we're going to "start trying" (ha!), why we don't have a little one on the way, when THEY are going to start trying, etc. Ughhh. I feel really selfish, because this is our friends' day, but I don't want to be there at all. Also, I can't stand small talk, and the evening is going to be FULL of it, because my friends and I haven't talked to each other in practically forever.
Oh! I just thought of something! My friend E is getting married in April, so maybe everyone will talk about wedding planning instead! That would be wonderful! lol I might just have to steer conversation that way! :) If only I could avoid seeing the babies...
On a different note, I know I'm always begging for prayers, but could you all please pray for a private family intention? I'd let y'all know what it is, but my family doesn't want people to know. It's a life-threatening situation, so the prayers would be really appreciated!
Oh! I just thought of something! My friend E is getting married in April, so maybe everyone will talk about wedding planning instead! That would be wonderful! lol I might just have to steer conversation that way! :) If only I could avoid seeing the babies...
On a different note, I know I'm always begging for prayers, but could you all please pray for a private family intention? I'd let y'all know what it is, but my family doesn't want people to know. It's a life-threatening situation, so the prayers would be really appreciated!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Feeling Much Better, but Confused!
Thank you all so much for praying for my husband and I yesterday! We're feeling much better today. We actually think it was a stomach flu, because we went to a friend's house and their grandson had it a couple days before. That was the worst bug I've ever, ever had, and let's just say I wasn't suffering joyfully. lol
Okay, so I'm extremely, extremely confused about this cycle. I had 10SL CM last night, even though it's CD28. What the HECK?! I mean, it's possible I misread things, but I don't think I did. Ovulation can't be delayed THAT much, can it?
I ended up taking Progesterone last night (before I saw the 10SL), because I just feel like it's been way too long to NOT be taking it. I don't know if it was the right decision or not. Ughhh...
Any thoughts on what in the world could be going on with me would be greatly appreciated. :)
Okay, so I'm extremely, extremely confused about this cycle. I had 10SL CM last night, even though it's CD28. What the HECK?! I mean, it's possible I misread things, but I don't think I did. Ovulation can't be delayed THAT much, can it?
I ended up taking Progesterone last night (before I saw the 10SL), because I just feel like it's been way too long to NOT be taking it. I don't know if it was the right decision or not. Ughhh...
Any thoughts on what in the world could be going on with me would be greatly appreciated. :)
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