Challenges

Oy. I'm such a horrible blogger. I'm so sorry it's been forever since I posted. We've had so many things going on it's just ridiculous (or maybe it just seems like I'm busy because I'm constantly watching my dog! lol).

Since the last time I posted my grandmother passed away. She was holding an old, beautiful gold rosary in her hands in the casket, which my grandpa gave to me.  It's just so hard to believe she's gone. The wake and funeral feel like a dream. Please pray for her soul and for my poor grandpa. He's totally lost without Grandma. He has no idea how to cook or clean or pay the bills.  The funeral is bringing out the best and worst in my extended family. My parents are being so patient and devoted to caring for my grandpa, but some of my family members are being HORRIBLE. One in particular has a grudge against my grandma and just won't/can't let it go even though she's gone. She thinks that grandma treated her differently because she's Protestant and that her kids were never treated the same, which is completely false. SHE separated her family from the rest of us by not coming to Thanksgivings or Christmases. Not TWO HOURS after my grandma died, she was already criticizing her. UGH. I get so angry when I think about it! Oh, I could just go on and on, but I suspect I've already crossed the boundaries of charity. :) Please pray for healing in our family, as well!

I'm having a difficult time adjusting to our new city. I don't feel safe and I'm homesick for our old town. The stupid grocery store is forever away and it's such an ordeal to get anywhere. I miss our former parish. We haven't really figured out where we're going to go to Mass on a regular basis since there are so many around here! Boomz wants to go to the TLM about 20 minutes away, but if everybody that loves liturgy flocks to the TLM how is the lackluster liturgy ever going to change? Plus, we have potential friends at the parish we've been attending! We've actually hung out with people our age once AND I was invited to tea once! I didn't want to go because the woman that invited me is a new mother and I knew it'd be all baby talk all the time, but Boomz guilted me into going. :) It wasn't so bad, really, and it was probably good for me to get out of the house. 

My adorable little puppy is driving Boomz and I crazy. :) He whines and whines while in his crate, and last night he peed all over me and my couch. I'm taking him outside every hour and ringing a bell and everything but I don't think he's getting it. He's so snuggly and good (for the most part) for me all day, but once the sun goes down he's totally hyper and horrible. TCIE and Hebrews have had some great advice for me, but more suggestions are welcome! Boomz is about ready to throw in the towel.

Sorry for such a rambly post! I just wanted to get all of this off my chest while the puppy is sleeping. :)

Holy Smokes!

My life has been absolutely nuts since I last posted!

Boomz got a new job 53 miles away, so we had to find an apartment and move to a new city. Right after he accepted the new job, he got two other offers from different companies, and an interview at another one! The interview was like ten minutes from my hometown and all of my family, so I was really hoping he'd get that one, but alas, it was not to be. So these last few days we've been packing, unpacking, settling in, and....adopting a dog! :) We bought a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy and named him Mr. Ca.rson after the butler on Down.town Abbe.y. He's a huge snuggler and I'm pretty much in love. I don't think Boomz is quite sold on him yet. ;) I feel like such a jerk, though, because I bought from a breeder when there are so many dogs in shelters. Don't kill me, TCIE! lol I looked online at the shelters near our new cities and most wouldn't be allowed in our apartment complex. 

I HATE change, so all of this has been a struggle for me. I'm a small town girl (my hometown is technically a village), so living in a place that has bus stops and interstates everywhere is very strange and scary. I'm afraid I'll never find my way around. I'm also a stay-at-home wife again, since I can't babysit my darling little boy or keep my elderly friend company anymore. I know that the little boy will be well taken care of, but I worry about my elderly friend. She'll be so lonely! :( I'll have to find a job around here eventually, but while we're getting settled in I'll be staying at home. 

Our first night in our new city, we were invited to dinner at a friend's house. There were two couples there we knew from college, and another couple we've never met before. They live in a town near us and when I met them my IF radar was going off. lol They've been married over a year and a half and don't have a baby. I know by normal standards that's nothing, but in our "circle" that's very unusual. I hope we get to know them better so we can have some young Catholic friends! Our first parish was filled with old people and big families. I think we were the only childless couple. 

Ugh, this post is poorly written and all over the place! I'm sorry! My mind just has a thousand things running through it right now. Also, I'm sorry I haven't been commenting! We haven't had the internet until yesterday! 

Merry Christmas and Prayer Buddy Reveal!

Merry Christmas, my friends! I know, I know, it's December 28th, but we Catholics have a whole Christmas season, so I'm not late! Boomz and I had a nice, mostly uneventful Christmas, though my family didn't talk about Jesus or His birth at all. So sad. :(

This Advent, I had the honor of praying for dear Hebrews 11:1! I was so happy when I received my prayer buddy assignment...I think I seriously went "Eeeee!" lol I offered up a decade of the Rosary for her everyday, my Holy Communions, and my everyday little sufferings. I hope the graces were felt! :)

Ahh, I planned on writing more, but everything is crazy right now. I'll write more tomorrow!

Random Thoughts at 3 AM

 I can't sleep, so I finally have time to BLOG! :)

1. Boomz and I bought Fr. Ro.bert Ba.rron's Catholicism series for each other for Christmas, and it is so amazing! Every episode is like a meditation, and it leaves me in awe of Our Lord and our Faith. So far, my favorite episodes are Amazed and Afraid: The Revelation of God Become Man and Our Tainted Nature's Solitary Boast: Mary, the Mother of God. I'm so, so grateful to be Catholic!

2. For the past few months I've been babysitting for our friend's grandson and keeping his (my friend's) elderly mother company, and let me tell you, it's been interesting. lol I love, love, love this little two-year-old boy, and he makes my infertile heart rejoice and ache at the same time. His family life isn't very stable, and I'm not sure he gets a lot of attention, so I try to give him my undivided attention as much as possible. I know I'm not his mother and I could never replace her, but I just want him to know that somebody loves him and doesn't think he's a bother (which is the impression I get from his family sometimes. I know they love him, but they seem annoyed with him most of the time).

3. I think I've been feeling the calling to adopt lately. I've always wanted to adopt, but wasn't sure I was called to it (and I'm still not, to be honest!). A few weeks ago out of the blue I was struck by the feeling that my baby is out there waiting for me somewhere, and I even had an image of a little biracial baby in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about this moment for a couple days. Then, while Boomz, my mother-in-law, and I were watching Catholicism, they showed an orphanage in Africa and all of the children were singing, "We are so happy to see you!", and I wanted to mother every single one of them. I've had several moments like this in the last couple of months. Am I a crazy person? lol

4. The elderly lady I keep company cracks me up and makes me sad all at the same time. She has absolutely no inhibition, and tells me all sorts of (unwanted!) intimate details about her past love life with her late husband and her bodily functions. She loves to watch judge shows like Divor.ce Cou.rt, and one time when a same-se.x couple was on, she asked me what they do with each other! lol I was mortified! Things like this happen everyday! She feels like a burden to her son and his family, and still cries over her husband's death, so she just breaks my heart. Sometimes she just sits in her recliner and sings old hymns, and once she prayed spontaneously in front of me because she was so grateful that she wasn't in so much pain that day. She's a Southern Bap.tist, and I just wish I could tell her about redemptive suffering, but I'm not sure she'd understand.

5. This Friday is when Boomz' family is celebrating Christmas, and oh boy, I think we're in for a good time. lol Boomz often posts things on FB to get people to think or to start a discussion, and one quote from St. Augustine finally got his uncle who's a Southern Bap.tist pastor to say he'd love to discuss this over Christmas dinner. I think we're in for a good time.  Hopefully everybody will keep their tempers and I'll keep my mouth shut! lol
 

Thank you!

First, thank you all so much for your prayers. It sounds like Grandma is hanging in there. :) Dad said that she's in good spirits and bickering with Grandpa just like she always would . While she was in the hospital, Grandma remarked that she just wanted to have one more Christmas, so we moved our Christmas celebration up to this Sunday. It'll be bittersweet, I'm sure.

Secondly, thank you so much to Hebrews 11:1, who nominated me for my very own Liebster Award! I'm sorry it took so long to post, but I haven't been able to blog much because we've been at my parents' house so often lately!

 

Here are my top 5 picks (please forgive me if you already got one or you actually have more than 200 followers! On some of the blogs I couldn't tell how many you have.):

1. Grace in My Heart

2. True, Good, and Beautiful

3. Abigail's Alcove

4. Hope-Pray-Trust

5. Magnify the LORD with Me

Sorry about the green highlighting! I can't figure out how to get rid of it! lol

 Upon receipt of the Liebster Blog Award, there are a few very simple rules:

1. Copy and paste the award on your blog
2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you
3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog. 4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

Please pray for my grandma

We found out this week that my grandma is dying, and we're at my parents' house because it could happen any minute, hence the lack of posting. She hadn't been looking well for a while and she wasn't eating well, either, but we never expected the news would be this bad. She was taken to the ER because of a rapid heartbeat, but we ended up finding out she's severely anemic, and has tumors in her chest and kidney the size of an orange and a tennis ball. She also has some kind of mass in her heart that could either be a blood clot or a tumor, so if it moves she would die. The doctors can't find out what the mass in her heart is because her heart couldn't take a biopsy. They're not doing anything to treat her. She came home from the hospital yesterday to die. She's on a Do Not Resuscitate list. She said she's not in any pain and feels totally fine. I haven't seen her shed a tear this whole time, while the rest of us are blubbering. She seems to have accepted her situation and is at peace with it. 

Please pray for her and for our family, especially my grandpa who is going to be totally lost without her. He doesn't know how to cook, or what to buy at the grocery store, or even how to write checks, because grandma has always done everything for him.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just like this beautiful lady said, today I'm going to think about all of the gifts God HAS given me. I'm no saint, so I'm not thankful for the cross of my infertility (yet! With God's grace, someday I will be able to praise Him even through this suffering), but I AM grateful for: 

The gift of faith

My wonderful husband, who is in the kitchen cooking as I type :)

My family, who gave me a sense of right and wrong 

The adorable small town where we live 

The friends having us over for dinner tonight

All of my wonderful blogging ladies (fertile and infertile!)

My cute fedora lol

Living in the United States

The new Mass translation! Woohoo!

Life. :)

God bless you all! I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!